photo:  Life bringing acequia in Tularosa

The acequias are running in La Luz and Tularosa, those old hand dug ditches that bring water, which equals life in the Southwest, to the villages.  They are lovely to see, and represent close co-operation between neighbors because of the upkeep and fairness of distribution required to maintain them.  And the water they carry is cool and clean because their source is in the mountains above them-----it is the source that must also be treasured and valued and attended to with watchful eyes.

I need to return to "Source" for a time;  I need to be more watchful now.  I have been "torn" in zaadz for awhile, wanting to remain positive and optimistic, helpful and encouraging to friends.  But I wrestle with words-----it is an ongoing match.  It seems such a fine, fine line between encouragement and telling the entire truth;  I do not wish to give an impression I believe I have any wisdom or knowledge that is not already available to all------we all know "spiritual" things-----but do we ACT on our knowledge? Or do we just look for and find confirmation of our personal beliefs/agenda?  I don't know the answer to that either, but I worry that ego can too easily be the operating mechanism here. Maybe not always, maybe not most of the time, but just maybe some of the time.

Are we merely looking for something we don't find in "real" ,but  that exists in  "cyber life?"  And here is a big question----is it much easier to deal with a computer screen than the questions and dilemmas of our lives? I don't want to be critical of the wonderful friends I have found here, not at all, but I am asking these things of us all.

My own stated mission of my profile is to remain a "frequency holder"-----I am not doing too good a job on that, and I need to return to that source again.  I need new footing and time to find it. 

I'm going to travel back up the trail of the mountain to cast a more watchful eye on Source.  It may be quite a while until I return, but I will try to do that eventually.

I appreciate my friends here more than I can possibly explain----(that  old wrestling match with words again.)   I have tried to say that as often as possible, so I hope it pretty much goes without saying.

Until later, moonstar 

With a bow to Thich Nhat Hanh and his well known practice of "walking meditation," I'll take a little time for rocking meditation.  Doesn't really matter whether it is done "mindfully" or with "mind dropped," a simple practice but wow, what a rush.  Pull up a rocker some evening and join me!

photo:  yesterday morning, from the deck with clouds far below

Sometimes in the early morning when there is moisture in the air, the clouds hang far below me, spread out across the basin , and it is kind of fun to think I am living above the clouds.  But the real benefit of such a wide and expansive view is-----well, a wide and expansive view.  For one thing it is very difficult to believe I am as important, or even as consequential,  as my ego would like me to think;  you see, I'm just too darn small in the  whole scheme of things.  But the cloud effect is short lived, and they rise quickly with the sun.  Earth and sky work in tandem to change faces  often,  and I find other lessons as well.

When I see such clear evidence of majestic Earth turning, of the ebb and flow pattern of all creation, why is it that I should ever expect  my life, my journey to be a steady "straight line"?
Why should I believe I should see a constant view, or be able to carry over beliefs and ideas without interruption? 

I have attempted to live a creative life long enough now to have learned  there is an ebb and flow pattern to feeling creative, following  that creative drive, and then just allowing that wave to pass over me again and wait.  It is the very mechanism of evolution, I do believe.  And, more recently, I  see it is the same pattern in any spiritual growth as well.  We can't  live above the clouds in perpetuity, sometimes we just have to allow them to rise back above us, find new footing on solid earth,  rest and wait.

I have seen many expressions of this pattern here in zaadz; friends who get on fire with new information and ideas, then just need a little "rest and wait" , to perhaps take time to look back and  see how far they have come, perhaps just gather greater energy  for the next wave.  And it is a good thing really;  our lives working in accord with the rhythms of Creative Force.

Oh true, living above the clouds is certainly dramatic, but also finding good solid footing and clear, ordinary light makes it even more so.

photo:  the Anasazi pottery shard

My blogs of the past week have delt with my trip to Chaco Canyon, and I have tried to use the blogs to recreate my experience there:  first, beauty and inspiration were abounding;  next, a sad experience observing disrespectful behavior.  But from that behavior,  I wanted to see and question how that behavior operates in us all-----because we are so deeply connected; we are never "just observers."  I had no idea how quickly I would be tested .

Late in the same day as the tour of Pueblo Bonito, I found an actual Anasazi pottery shard near our campsite----completely  out of place there.  Now I must pause here to say I have ALWAYS wanted such a precious momento;  I have many friends who have tons of them on display in their homes (they just seem to keep finding them everywhere,)  and I adore and lust after "little pieces" of nature and history.  Those who know me know I have artifacts of nature all over my house-----but never, never have I had anything as fabulous as this shard was it me.

Problem is, the park asks us not to take these kinds of artifacts.  They are sacred .

OK, remember those old cartoons with the devil on one shoulder, the angel on the other?
That was my experience, I swear it.  An evil little voice said "YOU didn't take it from one of the sites, someone else did it----you should keep it."  "Think how you could display this with pride, tell everyone you found it at Chaco."  And, maybe the most evil of all "Who will ever know anyhow, who could you hurt?"  See what I mean------temptation at its'  finest!!

To make a long, drawn out argument short, I DID turn it in to the park authorities.  They varified it  as authentic, said I was right to pick it up since it couldn't be in the original site, and that they would bury  it where it needed to be.

Now here is what I'm getting at-----we are all connected, with both the good and the bad, we all share the same ego nature, the same weaknesses and, I think too, we are all shown "lessons" and are then held responsible for what we have seen.

To my dear friend half way round the world who has questioned whether we zaadsters are being more ego led then honest when we just post "happy, happy,"  "I'm so wise and enlightened and  most likely you are not," kinds of things;  to my friends who attempt honesty at all times, to a friend who recently asked "can we be too nice," (I think, to others no, to ourselves, yes,)  this is my attempt to answer.

I was truly tempted to do something I SAY I abhor;  there are many wise and spiritual folks here, and there may well be some true Spiritual Masters as well-----but I am not one of them. 

And that is the honest truth.

                                    "Keep walking, though there's no place to get to."     --Rumi

I try to remain positive and encouraging in my "blog outlooks," as I generally feel there is an over abundance of negativity prowling about the world today, and it is getting us into more and more difficulty.  For example, a couple of days ago I wrote about how uplifted I was on a recent trip to Chaco Canyon, how "soul quieting" connecting with such a place can be.  But there was another side too, and after reading several of my friends' recent blogs, and considering carefully, I will attempt to relate the dark side of my trip in the hope it can stir some thought.

When visiting Chaco,  visitors are reminded again and again,  in the literature provided,  on posted signs, through film and verbally as well, that Chaco is a sacred place today  to many people of the Four Corners area and to please enter with respect. In fact, I happened to run across an elderly Hopi couple weeping because of their connection to the place, and we briefly exchanged comments on the beauty of Spirit there.

Although Richard and I made it a point to get up before sunrise in order to visit the various sites in the quiet of morning, one day I decided I would join a tour group through Pueblo Bonito, in order to see if I could pick up any additional information from the Park Ranger I had not previously come across.  It was a sad experience, though not the fault of the ranger.

I know all tourists are not this way, most certainly, but I happened to join a large, loud  group from out-of-state, I will not say where.  Despite repeated cautions, their attitude was what can only be described as loathsome.  (Sorry to use such strong language.)  They continually made disrespectful remarks,  laughing loudly all the while, and I do not want to repeat them here, but they sickened me.  Just one little example to show what I am getting at...."This place looks like it was made in _______," (fill in whatever foreign country comes to mind when spoken of in a derisive way.)  Again, I know this is probably not exactly common,  but it did happen.

I know, if we asked them, these folks would want to describe themselves as "tolerant."
But I would like to ask some questions of them and of ourselves.  Leaving this group for a moment, I  wish to place some questions before humanity.

WHY is it  we feel such a need  to rip apart the beliefs and views of others, most especially when those beliefs  have no real impact  or consequence to our own?
WHY do we so often want to see only through one perspective?  What are we truly trying to protect?  WHY are we so fearful of spirituality in any form at all?  WHY must we try to build our own egos by making others small?  WHY must we busy ourselves with  constant  criticism to the extent we shut off the beauty and blessings  around us?

Over and over I see examples of vandalism and disrespect of sacred and historic places in a land I love so much,  not just the vandalism brought about through greed,  but that of pure hostility, thoughtlessness  and mean spiritedness.  It makes us all smaller.

At such times as that  described above, I am deeply ashamed of my own culture.

...sacred still today, as is all Creation.

listen closely to hear the echo of ancient drums, or is it your own heart?

for Vic, who loves  the imagery of portals

Photo:  Road to Chaco

On my return from my trip to Chaco Canyon, I have been hesitant to attempt to put into words my feelings about it;  unfortunately words can only serve to make small those feelings since the experience of such a place is beyond all words, no matter how sincere the attempt to convey it.  I have been basking in the wonder of my trip for a couple of days now, not wishing to "break the spell."  But messages I have received from kind friends here have inspired me to give it a go.

The experience of Chaco, to me at least, is best described with words I treasure from Rumi:

"Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing there is a field.  I'll meet you there."

Those words stir me to my bones!  To me, it implies the "soul quieting" realm of non-judgmentalism, acceptance and compassion, rare indeed in our society today.  The wild and ancient places, like Chaco, invite an introspective time of non-labeling;  a call to just listen and revel in the Whole of Creation.  I know already many of my friends here know what I am trying to express.

So, I will end this and include just a few photos that, hopefully, can speak my wished for words for me.  "I'll meet you there."

A last minute decision-----I'm going off to the real wilderness for a few days to listen to Anasazi spirits and do some serious photography.  NO ELECTRICITY!    YEA!!!!!
Gotta' run-----they are calling me now!   Love to all.